I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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