Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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