It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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