Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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