he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize