She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
