Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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