she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
