My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
