oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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