I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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