it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize