he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
