well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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