we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
