All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
