I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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