I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
