I want to walk on stilts...naked
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
