My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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