whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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