she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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