Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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