Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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