That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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