Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
