ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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