I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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