my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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