is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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