I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
