Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
