I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
