He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
