He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
