I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
