Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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