After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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