Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
