Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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