I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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