I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
