question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
