So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Damn victory sex feels great
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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