Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
