my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize