Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
