oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
