Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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