I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
