I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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