Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
