I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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