Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
