so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You took a bar mat shot.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
