There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
