she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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