"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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