Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
