I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My feet surprised me
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