he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
