i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
