I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
