she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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